About three blocks from our house there is a small supermarket. It is somewhat dodgy and strange, one of a local chain of strange dodgy markets called Marc's. These offer "DEEP DISCOUNTS," apparently by virtue of opening their doors to a motley assortment of orphaned leftovers from more ordinary stores.
Marc's is certainly not the right place to go when you want something (a) in particular, calculated to a higher degree of specificity than, say, "cereal," or (b) guaranteed to meet any kind of rigorous standard for wholesomeness, though I think our branch gets more than the usual allotment of hippie food. It is, however, the perfect place to go when you want something that is (c) at the end of my street.
Last time I was there, they had wheat germ, organic milk, and a generous supply of Bob's Red Mill organic spelt and oats and amaranth and things. On the other hand, they also had this:
No thank you. I wonder if the people who buy this are as mystified by the wheat germ as I am by the Finest Chili. Are there people who buy it?
I am really in no position to talk: On this visit, I was shopping for psyllium and applesauce, because I am three thousand years old. On the walk there I passed a waiter from a nearby Chinese restaurant. He was taking a weary smoke break and looking terribly, terribly familiar.
I knew I didn't know him. Was it that he looked like an actor? Did he remind me of a friend of mine? My eighth-grade science teacher? Someone at work?
This gave me something to think about as I wandered the aisles, recoiling from pink lemonade flavored psyllium and banana flavored applesauce. I'd successfully located varieties that more closely approximated normal examples of each genre, checked out, and was nearly home when I realized that the person the waiter resembled so strongly was Bert.
Maybe he'd like some psyllium too.
I confess to having occasionally "enjoyed" Slurry, but only when poured in a bag of Fritos, and mainly because it is a sin to put reasonably decent chili in Fritos.
Posted by: avogadro | 07/14/2009 at 10:29 PM
Frito pie! I love Frito pie, and it had not occurred to me as a use for Slurry. Of course, since my vegetarian chili is by definition heretical rather than decent, it goes in there just fine.
Posted by: redfox | 07/15/2009 at 08:27 AM
I think I'm still afraid of meat in a can, though.
Posted by: redfox | 07/15/2009 at 08:28 AM
Slurry is also a reasonable thing to put on hot dogs, again because no Right Thinking Person would add not-horrible chili to cheap cased meats.
In truth, though, meat in a can is fairly awful, except for perhaps lump crab (which is still an inferior product).
Also, heretical does not necessarily equal decent!
Posted by: avogadro | 07/15/2009 at 10:17 PM
Indeed, how can heresy be decent? Surely it cannot.
Posted by: redfox | 07/15/2009 at 10:42 PM
YEARGH, I meant "not decent".
Posted by: avogadro | 07/15/2009 at 11:04 PM
Chili con carne strictly traditionally has no beans.
However, the finest chili con carne definitely definitively is not canned.
Posted by: Ray Davis | 07/21/2009 at 10:36 PM