I'm not sure why "vaguely put out" is my default expression in these photos. Maybe it's because I'm a sullen bitch! Possibly.
That's a little more human, though I feel it fails to convey the full rotundity of my person. The light cast upon my glowing visage is extra clear and white thanks to the snow swirling outside my office window. No watermelons out there.
Nice neck creases there, champ.
People passing me in the hall have taken to saying "How are you?" and giving my middle a Meaningful Look. I am not sure what they are going for, tone-wise. There is a general tendency for it to come out as a Groucho Marx kind of leer, which is surely not quite what anyone really has in mind. "If you know what I mean, and I think you DO, watermelon."
It is conspiratorial, but I am not sure who we are supposed to be conspiring against or what we are supposed to be conspiring towards. If someone would like to conspire to replace my class this evening with a grilled cheese sandwich and a nap, though, I would not object. In fact, feel free to conspire on my behalf all you like. What have you got to offer?