Scene: Our house is on a corner lot, with no fence or wall to obscure the view of either street as it approaches the intersection. I am standing idly on the front step, holding Jane, who had become fractous indoors.
Two moderately glossy cars pull up, one right after the other, from the west, and pause at the stop sign to my right. The drivers are of a similar type, somehow very Southern Californian: fifty-something men, lightly tanned, well kept but casually dressed, hair silver rather than merely gray. They are perhaps music executives, or successful tax attorneys, or character actors who play music executives and tax attorneys.
The first car turns left. The driver of the car behind leans out his window and shouts: "TURN SIGNAL!!" by which he does not mean, "By Jove, old shoe, if it isn't my old chum 'Turn Signal'!" nor "Bravo, my good man, for your brilliant deployment of the turn signal," but rather "Jesus fucking christ, jackass, try using your fucking turn signal sometime."
The other driver nearly hits the car parked in front of my house in his haste to lean out his own window in turn, so that he might reply: "BITE ME, MOTHERFUCKER!"
Both cars drive away with vigor. I cackle with delight.
The end.
the most hilarious part is that bostonians wouldn't even notice someone failing to signal. they're too busy screaming at you for not turning when the sign clearly says, 'left turn at signal only.' i miss the 'good' drivers of southern california.
Posted by: erica | 09/06/2010 at 08:35 PM
That is so, so exactly true about Boston.
Posted by: redfox | 09/07/2010 at 02:27 PM
We do swear at each other like that in Blighty too. Though we're probably not as well-dressed or -kept when we do it. And 'Bite Me' is a uniquely and delightfully American phrase. Angry drivers would probably just take it literally here. We have to make do with the weapons we have, after all.
Posted by: Lumpy badger | 09/08/2010 at 10:42 AM