Hello! Your friendly neighborhood branch of Bank of the West here.
You should really consider opening an account with us! You'll love it. We're very friendly.
That sign on the door? Oh yes, please do come a little closer and see just how friendly we are, and how very eager we truly are to have you.
What, you don't want a bear? You just want a box of checks? Too bad! We don't believe in that either/or crap here. We are all about AND here at Bank of the West.
Checks? Check. Free bear? Also check! You'll take your free bear and like it. It will savage you with its terrifying claws and teeth. It will crunch you like a delicious meaty biscuit, and even as you die, you will say, "What exceptional service! I must refer a friend today."