Because I like to imagine that I lead an idyllic pastoral homesteading life, in between imagining that I am a moneyed dilettante with all the time in the world to swan about in New York, and also because I like pickles and odd specific tools, I have purchased a special German crock suitable for making sauerkraut and other pickled things.
It came with a lot of packaging. Very thorough, those purveyors of special crocks.
It also comes with a special split weight to hold down your cucumbers or cabbage or what have you, and a special top designed so that the lid rests in a water-filled gutter or trough, forming a particularly delightsome seal. All requisite lunatic zeal is to be provided by the purchaser.
This is the smallest size of crock available (egg for scale), five liters, which holds a good five pounds/two and a quarter kilos of pickling cucumbers plus their brine, and weighs approximately 54,872 tons when filled.
The brine is composed of salt, water, spices, and just a little vinegar, because the real pickling action comes as the product of wholesome, natural, German fermentation. I mixed it up according to a recipe in a book called The Joy of Pickling, which assures me that as the brine ferments, "the room will fill with an irresistible aroma" and that "many women in eastern Europe" use it as a cosmetic.
"Look, my book says that many women in eastern Europe use pickle brine as a cosmetic."
"You told me that before, and I didn't believe it then either."
"We should try it out on you. Although then maybe you would come out looking like an eastern European woman."
For what will momentarily become obvious reasons, I was suddenly inspired to sort through a box of old photos -- the dining room table is now cluttered with little piles of pictures awaiting placement in photo albums -- and near the bottom, just as I had hoped, I happily found these:
...circa 1999, when, as you'll recall, straw hats, flowered dresses, and beards were the lady-menacing outfits of choice for stylish young gentlemen and eastern European women alike. And what happy, innocent times they were, too.
Were you two trying to recreate "The Dance at Bougival"?
Posted by: Christopher Alvarado | 09/13/2009 at 09:34 AM
More like the scene with Iggy Pop in Dead Man, I think.
Posted by: redfox | 09/13/2009 at 10:01 AM
Picture.
Posted by: redfox | 09/13/2009 at 10:05 AM
Random question - who made your crock, and would you recommend buying the same now that you've owned it for awhile?
(I've been thinking about getting one with Christmas money and remembered this post!)
Posted by: Parenthetical | 12/24/2010 at 05:55 PM