Take that, Algonquin Round Table.

HIM: All fire, or just the one?

ME: I hope just the one. We need fire! It burns things. In a good way.

HIM: Do you think the fire was breaking into the home, and the home destroyed it in an act of self defense? Or was it just some innocent little fire minding its own business when... pow!

ME: It was probably a revenge killing scenario.

HIM: "Hey! I'm just a campfire! I never did anything to you!"

ME: "I've seen what your kind does to houses."

HIM: "Not me! I never hurt anybody! I just toast marshmallows in peace!"

ME: "Oh please. You're all alike."

HIM: Racist!

ME: "You're not trustworthy. You can't be trusted." (confidentially) "That's what 'not trustworthy' means."

HIM: Do you think the campfire taunted the house about not being so trustworthy itself, what with its mortgage being underwater because of the real estate downturn? 

ME: I hope not. That would really be playing with fire.

HIM: YYEEEEEEEAAAAAHHH!

 

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[Elsa]

SNORT!